Modern Day Bullying

I have been mulling this blog for a while, working now at an elementary school I have had the pleasure of seeing education through the eyes of a Pre-Schooler to a Senior in high school!  The one theme that I have seen throughout all grades is the issue of "bullying".  I write this blog with some trepidation as some of you may be coming to this topic as a victim of modern or even old-school bullying and some of you are a parent of a child who has been a target of a bully but please know my heart that this has been something that has been a long time coming in my own thoughts.
First of all my slant of this comes from being a child of the 70's and a teenager of the 80's.  So my lens is from a purely non-technological one!  I have taught in schools since 1994 and have seen the development of bullying in this technological world.  I don't call myself an expert by any means but this is something that I hear about on a daily basis! Okay, here I go.
First of all I think that when many of us hear the word "bully" we think of maybe a huge brawny boy with a ton of muscles ready to dump us in a trashcan at school or gave "swirlees" to littler ones in the school toilets or maybe an attractive girl that is just mean with her words...we all come into this with a preconceived image of what a bully is or even what a bully does.
I shared with a friend of mine the other day that back in the 80's we could run into someone that we didn't like and we could often walk away knowing that no harm could be done to us if we didn't engage.  Even a note written in anger or malice could be torn up, burned or destroyed never to be seen again.  A fist fight at lunch in the park?  Well, after the fight there might be talks in the parking lot or on the phone but again, we could walk away and be done.  We went home to decompress, we could forget about the world and didn't have to worry about what was going on behind our backs as what was the worst thing that was happening?  Maybe someone having a phone call about you but none of us really thought a thing until we had to go to school the next day...and even then we could avoid the bully and although rumors would go around the school you just had to wait until someone else did something then you were yesterday's news!
Today our kids don't have that luxury.  A fight with a friend is often dragged out on twitter, snapchat, Facebook or the like. Text messages that include groups of people are kindling for a cyberbully attack on one or more individuals.  The physical fight that occurred so long ago in the park that we could walk away from with maybe a bruised ego is now filmed and uploaded for all to see.  A bully may even egg you on just to get you on film to show to everyone.
Social media while great to keep in touch and share ideas and photos with is also the tool of today's bully.  A bully is no longer just someone that can hurt you physically, in fact today a bully is more likely to rip the heart and soul out of another with just a picture, a click of a mouse or a post that goes "viral".  Think of these as those notes that are now out for the world to see, a 24 hour news cycle about something you did, something that now everyone knows about and could even be something that you DIDN'T do but was photoshopped or created to make it look like you did.  I mean, if it's on the internet it is true right?
Teaching kids about cyber safety is just the start, parents and any adult that has influence on a child needs to continue to monitor and educate throughout the years.  Teaching about deleting, going off the grid or not accepting everyone's request is just half the battle.  Unfortunately we can not stop children from posting inappropriate and sometimes downright mean things about others but what we can do is continue to create hearts in children that want to do the right thing and want to create love not destroy it. 
I  have heard many people say, "I am so glad my kids didn't grow up in this time period" to which I simply state, "But your grandchildren are or will."  We don't have an easy fix to this, it is a generational change of course, it is a societal ill that needs to be addressed, it is an adult issue that needs to be never given up but addressed and fought everyday.  If we truly care about each other and the future of our kids we need to be diligent, we need to continue to have conversations we need to know that the bully may look different and has now a variety of ways to destroy a person, it is worth it to keep fighting and standing up to those that want to tear our kids down.
For more information go to: https://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/what-is-it/
For the truth go to your child's room, open the door, sit on the bed and talk with them!
Much love to those who have children that have suffered at the hands of a bully, you are not alone, find someone that can talk with you, help you and your child and build that foundation of safety for you and your child.