How much is education really worth?

Education has been on my mind a lot lately and not just because it is my job!  All this talk about Common Core, SBAC, STEM, public vs private and yes even me seeking a possible PhD.  It has me thinking about what the purpose of education really is.  Trust me, thanks to Google I could find thousands of quotes on the topic but I am not looking for a cute saying or an excerpt from a philosopher or worse a politician!

I just think it is time to really evaluate what education means to each of us and it's worth to our human society.  I hear the rumors about free Community College and I say "why not?"  I want the best of the best in every field and I know way too many that are limited due to finances or the fear of the unknown.  Other countries can do this why not the greatest country in the world?  Why is it that we feel everyone has to pay in order for things to be "fair" or valuable?

I am beginning to think a true overhaul of the educational system is on order and why not today?  Let's start the conversation and let's keep it centered on what is not only best for students but what is best for our nation in the long term.  Education shouldn't have a dollar amount tied to it!💲

The Davis Farm

Got a new pet this week, why? Because it didn't have a home and probably because I wanted to. In this new journey of mine I find myself doing more and more of that, giving into or or being aware of my wants.  I wanted it, I could take it and so I did.

You see I spend a lot of time wondering "what if" and not that I want to be foolish but I want to be fulfilled.

Whether it is with better food, better drinks or better conversations I want better.  Some people may say that is selfish but we are not promised tomorrow and why not live for today?  Again I don't plan on going out guns blazing but my weapon will be drawn and will be sighted on my targets. I refuse to be caught sleeping and if that means the Davis farm will be growing so be it!  

Family Ties

What is family?  I suppose Webster has a definition but my family has never fit the definition of anything but crazy, certifiable crazy.  Visiting my niece Cora this past weekend reminded me that family is complicated. Complicated as we share DNA, common foundation and family stories but other than that, what?

Hurt feelings, miscommunication and distrust? Yep.  Joy, laughter and comfort? Yep, that too. 

Why can't we live with both?  For me, it is simple, I deserve better.  If you say you love me unconditionally then do it.  Call me on my BS but wrap it with love not hypocrisy,  don't cast stones at other family members and then expect me not to think I am a target too.

I wouldn't put up with that with me friends, who I have selected so I certainly shouldn't take it from a family member right ? 

I believe in water under the bridge, I believe time heals some wounds and I believe in most of all unconditional love even if you don't.  The thing with my family, you see, is that I will be spending eternity with most if not all of them so I feel convicted to do something, the only thing I can do, pray.  

Pray for those that do the hurting as well as those that are hurting because if I am honest I have been on both sides of the hurt.  I tend to believe someone prayed for me, prayed for wisdom and clarity of my words as well as comfort and healing for my hurt.

I love my family, all of them, I may not always like what they do or say but when all is said and done I love them.  I am not sure if some days that makes me a fool, I know it doesn't make me a saint but hopefully through it all I can be Christ-like. That is a powerful order but I am going to try, I want to know  my prayers are fervent and true and that even if my family isn't to be "healed" or "healthy" my family is mine and I have done right by them.

Is this it?

Every time I drive to work I am met with a big poster that says, "Life, is this all there is?"  I began to wonder...what if it is?  Don't get me wrong I believe in God, Heaven and an eternity with my Lord and Savior BUT what I am talking about is this life, life here on Earth. 
You see I have never really seen myself as a glass looker; half full or half empty?  Isn't it really the same?  I have tried my daily best with being a wife, step-mom, daughter, sister and aunt but often wonder, am I doing what others are needing/wanting me to do?  I have days where I am all but resentful of the things I have to do  for others and then the days where I don't have responsibilities I am almost melancholy with the idea that I am not needed or wanted.  What is that?  That is me!
Whether it is the turning of the key at school not knowing what is waiting for me or hearing the phone ring and not knowing who could possibly be calling or what they want.  In my mind I feel like I am someone that wants to give, give what I can but what about me?  Escaping this weekend I feel like a butterfly coming out of her cocoon, not because I have been caged in anyway but because I am morphing into someone that can go and do on their own.
How did I get here?  I was a woman all on my own and all the freedom I could ever want, now I am a woman that has a job, family and responsibilities...I want a balance of all these things, I don't want to regret, resent or run away.
You see, I guess all people must feel that way but I don't want to feel that way.  I want to feel level with my emotions, I want to feel balanced in my feelings, I want to feel empowered not exhausted.  So when all is said and done, I am hungry for the next day not dreading what might be.
Is that too much?  Is that just "normal" for here on Earth?

I want to be passionate again, I want to feel on fire for life, I want more. 

Start of a new year?

2015 is going to be an interesting year, going to keep that in the front of my mind so that when things happen I can just say..."hmmmm, that's interesting!"  As I look at Rudy snoring here on the couch with me I think about how long it has been since I started the last journey of mine.   Meaning that Rudy is  the symbol I often think of when I think of Chris and I getting married.  We actually got Rudy our 2nd year of marriage and so seeing him greying I know that I too am greying and snoring through some of my own experiences. 
I want this year to be one that I can look back and not only see the good and the bad but how that I have grown emotionally through it all.  My journey won't be one that I will make alone but it will be one that I will have  to make my own decisions on how I react to the experiences and more importantly I react to those around me.  I am not an open book, I am not one who can hide my feelings and yet these two are the things that I think help protect me and my core of  who I am. 
I want adventures and yet I don't want conflicts, I want freedom and yet I want my security, I want...well, even this year I would have to admit I don't know what I really want.  My hope is a new job, my hope are amazing adventures, my hope is happiness.  Happiness will not come with things but will come with knowing that I have done my best with those around me and that I have loved much and have loved often. 
So bring it on 2015...just kidding.  Don't bring anything on, just let me experience the life that I was meant to experience with those that love me.